Just a couple of days ago I blogged about my mommy guilt and returning to work. Luckily I've just had a (very minimal) bit of relief given to me by a faceless man.
Thank you, John Tesh. For those of you who have no idea who I'm talking about, John Tesh is a radio show host. His show airs nightly over our local station and is pretty interesting. He offers us facts to live by in the way of : "Intelligence for Life", about almost anything.
A couple days ago when I was putting Monster to bed I was listening to a couple minutes of his show (Monster has a radio quietly going in his room 24/7). John Tesh was talking about Mommy Guilt! Ahh! You think I'm kidding right? Nope!
He provided statistics from studies (he usually states where and when the studies were done too) about children who have stay at home moms, and children who have working parents. Between the ages of 1 and 2, babies with working parents actually had a higher IQ. Not to worry stay at home moms, the study also showed that the babies all "leveled out" by the age of 3.
Another study he talked about followed 100(?) children from 8 months to 18 years that found it didn't matter if they had a stay at home mom or a working mom the children with more affectionate parents faired better in life. Children that experienced more affection from their parents handled stressful situations better, and were least likely to become depressed among a list of other things.
Of course I'm not going to base my whole views and opinions on one study, I would love to be a stay at home mom! But it definitely helps relieve a tiny bit of the guilt knowing those tid bits of information.
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Showing posts with label mommy guilt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mommy guilt. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Mommy Guilt and Returning to Work
I've known for a long time that I didn't want to return to my Care Aid job after my maternity leave. I think I made that decision before I even took my maternity leave. That's a whole different blog.
I know just how crappy this economy is for finding work, so I knew that if I didn't want to go back to my old job I'd have to start looking well in advance. I've been applying at different places that sound good since August. Long story short, I just got hired on with an insurance company on Monday. The whole process was very short. I dropped my resume off Monday (the 8th), had two interviews by Tuesday and was hired the following Monday.
Ideally I'd never have to return to work, and could just sit at home with my baby all day. Unfortunately it's not financially possible for us, our lifestyle and this day in age. I've been trying to wrap my head around going back to work and what it will mean for my baby and I. I've cried every single day this week. Thankfully I've been far too busy at work to think about missing Monster, it's when I get home and see his adorable face that I just want to sit on the floor, holding him, crying. I don't. Ok, I did once. The other time I held it in until I was giving him his good night hugs before bed.
It's not like it's someone else, some stranger raising my baby. Hubbs works graveyard so that he can be home during the day with Monster, which is really the only way I could come to terms with returning to work anyways. What makes it worse though, is that this last week Monster has hit new infant milestones, and I haven't been the first one to see any of them first. It's an adjustment period for everyone involved, but so far Monster seems to be handling it the best out of us all.
I know just how crappy this economy is for finding work, so I knew that if I didn't want to go back to my old job I'd have to start looking well in advance. I've been applying at different places that sound good since August. Long story short, I just got hired on with an insurance company on Monday. The whole process was very short. I dropped my resume off Monday (the 8th), had two interviews by Tuesday and was hired the following Monday.
Ideally I'd never have to return to work, and could just sit at home with my baby all day. Unfortunately it's not financially possible for us, our lifestyle and this day in age. I've been trying to wrap my head around going back to work and what it will mean for my baby and I. I've cried every single day this week. Thankfully I've been far too busy at work to think about missing Monster, it's when I get home and see his adorable face that I just want to sit on the floor, holding him, crying. I don't. Ok, I did once. The other time I held it in until I was giving him his good night hugs before bed.
It's not like it's someone else, some stranger raising my baby. Hubbs works graveyard so that he can be home during the day with Monster, which is really the only way I could come to terms with returning to work anyways. What makes it worse though, is that this last week Monster has hit new infant milestones, and I haven't been the first one to see any of them first. It's an adjustment period for everyone involved, but so far Monster seems to be handling it the best out of us all.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Mommy Guilt - It's a real thing
Mommy guilt, it's a real thing! I'm sure there is such a thing as daddy guilt too, but since I'm a mommy; my guilt is more obvious.
Every day I experience this in one form or another. Am I doing the best possible thing I can do for my son at this particular time? Every day I am faced with a a decision, any where from "Are these clothes warm enough, or cool enough?", "Have I spent enough time reading and playing with Monster?"
How do you know if your worries are valid or relevant? I've been experiencing inner turmoil for the last two or three weeks regarding when the appropriate time to return to work would be. I'm not looking for advice on the subject because in the end I will have weighed the pros and cons myself and made the decision I feel is best for our family at this time.
I definitely sound like I'm trying to convince myself, don't I? The only reason I'm considering returning to the work force is because I have a two year financial plan in order to be able to buy a nice big house to hold my family (and potential family). Why can't the two year plan just wait until January when my maternity leave ends?
Well, if you ask my mom she will be the first person to agree that once I get an idea in my head it's difficult to change it, and I'm usually in a hurry to follow through with it. Since Hubbs does shift work it is possible for us to pull a couple of favors in order to ensure Monster won't spend much time (if any) with a sitter. Therefor one or both of us will always be his primary care giver, and one or both of us will always be around to see all his firsts.
How are parents supposed to handle guilt in any situation regarding their children?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Every day I experience this in one form or another. Am I doing the best possible thing I can do for my son at this particular time? Every day I am faced with a a decision, any where from "Are these clothes warm enough, or cool enough?", "Have I spent enough time reading and playing with Monster?"
How do you know if your worries are valid or relevant? I've been experiencing inner turmoil for the last two or three weeks regarding when the appropriate time to return to work would be. I'm not looking for advice on the subject because in the end I will have weighed the pros and cons myself and made the decision I feel is best for our family at this time.
I definitely sound like I'm trying to convince myself, don't I? The only reason I'm considering returning to the work force is because I have a two year financial plan in order to be able to buy a nice big house to hold my family (and potential family). Why can't the two year plan just wait until January when my maternity leave ends?
Well, if you ask my mom she will be the first person to agree that once I get an idea in my head it's difficult to change it, and I'm usually in a hurry to follow through with it. Since Hubbs does shift work it is possible for us to pull a couple of favors in order to ensure Monster won't spend much time (if any) with a sitter. Therefor one or both of us will always be his primary care giver, and one or both of us will always be around to see all his firsts.
How are parents supposed to handle guilt in any situation regarding their children?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Breast is Best...
... until you've grown a beast.
A month before I delivered my Monster the doctor was shocked while doing the regulation tummy palpations. "Oh Christine... This is NOT a small baby" she said sympathetically with a slight smile.
No, he was not a small baby, and he has been growing by Monstrous proportions since!
I believe very strongly that breast is best, and adored nursing my son. The closeness, and just knowing the fact that I was his sole nutritional provider warmed me to the core. Then the 3 month growth spurt hit. From the beginning of Monster's 3rd month of life, to the beginning of his 4th month he gained 3lbs 4oz and 2 inches in length.
My mommy guilt began setting in when the days started where I would nurse him until I had nothing left, and he would still drink a 6 ounce bottle of infant formula. The more he needed supplements, the less I produced. At the point when I could only nurse twice a day, I had to make a decision. One or the other, I couldn't keep stressing about how much milk I will produce, and how much he'd need in a bottle after.
The choice to wean my Monster was not an easy one, but with solids in sight, I knew it wouldn't be long before he started getting supreme nutrients from a pureed version of our Earth's bounty. The only thing keeping my mommy guilt at bay is knowing that I did everything humanly possible to keep my supply going for as long as I could, and the support of my loving Hubbs.
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