Returning to work = Bad Mommy!

That's how I'm feeling right now anyways. I'm not in a sulky, beat myself up kind of mood either!

Today as I was rocking my Monster to sleep for another night in a row, I flashed back to a memory when I could just lay Monster down into his crib, AWAKE, and he'd fall fast asleep on his own. I flashed back to a time when Monster didn't wake up each night been midnight and four in the morning and come to our bed so that everyone in the house can finish their nights sleep.

These facts make me feel like a bad mommy. I returned to work and sacrificed my consistency for sleep. I sacrificed my self-soothing Monster for a well rested feeling the next day at work. I told myself over Christmas time that I'd spend my time off sleep training so that we'd reverse this new habit and return to normal. I made an excuse for myself and my Monster over Christmas time because he was teething. I'm embarrassed to even admit all of this because of my fellow parents who read this.

I'm at a loss and don't even know where to go from here. Monster sleeps in his crib until his middle-of-the-night wake up, when instead of spending the time and effort rocking him or soothing or god forbid letting him cry I dutifully pick him up and bring him to bed with me.

I am a bad mommy whose laziness created a bedtime Monster.