Stupid Suspicious Mind

When you're not trying to get pregnant, avoiding it like the plague actually, it seems like every little thing makes you suspicious.

Hubbs and I would like to wait until Monster is closer to two before even thinking about trying to make him a sibling. I would like to attempt a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-Section) and in order to do so I must wait until at least two years from my surgery date.

We are using birth control and because we found out we are ridiculously fertile (we have magnets for sperm and eggs! Hahaha) I have an alarm set on my phone to go off every day at noon so I take it at the same time daily (even though it's not necessary to do so with the type I'm on) to make it uber effective.

So why is it that I am constantly worrying, constantly suspicious of early pregnancy symptoms and always over analyzing every little detail? Why is it such a big deal, when we would see the light at the end of the tunnel even if an accident did happen?


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Am I crazy?

Once upon a time I wrote a blog on my What To Expect account asking if I was nuts to be worried about separation anxiety after the birth of my child.

The answer? I don't have separation anxiety from my child, but I miss pregnancy itself. There, I said it! It is ridiculous, and I will be the first to admit. I absolutely adore the feeling of growing a baby inside of me, and vow to never take it for granted again!

I say this so candidly, only because my pregnancy was pretty much a breeze. At the end I didn't even feel like the whale most women describe themselves as. I felt mostly comfortable, with a basketball hidden under my shirt. I realize that not every pregnancy is the same, and the next time might be a hot, hot, hell experience. That is one ride I am ready and willing to take... in the future.

I definitely don't plan on trying to conceive again anytime soon. My last pregnancy ended with a C-Section, so it is best for me to wait at least a year before we start trying, two if I plan on trying for a natural delivery. Something I am interested it, but is not a necessity. I don't know if I can hold off that need to feel pregnant again for that long.

I can just hear my mother now: "Enjoy the baby you have now... Enjoy the baby you have now... Enjoy the baby you have now..." Not that she wouldn't love another little Squeaky Monkey to squeeze.