Sunday, November 21, 2010

Mommy Guilt and Returning to Work

I've known for a long time that I didn't want to return to my Care Aid job after my maternity leave. I think I made that decision before I even took my maternity leave. That's a whole different blog.

I know just how crappy this economy is for finding work, so I knew that if I didn't want to go back to my old job I'd have to start looking well in advance. I've been applying at different places that sound good since August. Long story short, I just got hired on with an insurance company on Monday. The whole process was very short. I dropped my resume off  Monday (the 8th), had two interviews by Tuesday and was hired the following Monday.

Ideally I'd never have to return to work, and could just sit at home with my baby all day. Unfortunately it's not financially possible for us, our lifestyle and this day in age. I've been trying to wrap my head around going back to work and what it will mean for my baby and I. I've cried every single day this week. Thankfully I've been far too busy at work to think about missing Monster, it's when I get home and see his adorable face that I just want to sit on the floor, holding him, crying. I don't. Ok, I did once. The other time I held it in until I was giving him his good night hugs before bed.

It's not like it's someone else, some stranger raising my baby. Hubbs works graveyard so that he can be home during the day with Monster, which is really the only way I could come to terms with returning to work anyways. What makes it worse though, is that this last week Monster has hit new infant milestones, and I haven't been the first one to see any of them first. It's an adjustment period for everyone involved, but so far Monster seems to be handling it the best out of us all.

1 comment:

  1. You're doing what's best for your family, even if it sucks right now. You'll adjust. Honestly. I remember going back to work when Andy was 6 weeks old. The first day, I cried when I dropped him off at day care. I cried all the way back to work. But I survived and it got easier. It will for you, too.

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